It's been quite a while since I have sat down and truly written out what was on my heart and in my head. I used to write exhaustingly about things I was so entrenched in which was God and girls. Many of my friends on Myspace and Facebook could attest to how pathetic it was going back and forth and how much I was looking for answers and made myself so vulnerable to what I was putting forth. As I have been rediscovering my place not in my world but in God's, I have been in the pursuit of holiness instead of happiness. I used to think if I just had this or just had that, if I just had a wife, or a great carm or the job that I truly loved that I would be contently blessed. In reality I was just fooling myself.
Yes, I was young. Yes, I was naive. But even today I'm still just as foolish and unworthy of how God has brought me through my attempts to reason with Him and think I knew best. I've been on an ever searching quest to discover what God's will is for my life and all this time I have been missing the mark because I have been waiting for a "Go here and do these miraculous things" type of calling. When really He has been asking me to simply work on the little things and obey.
Jerry Bridges, in his book called "The Pursuit of Happiness" hits me right between the eyes. How blind I have been even years after seeing all the mistakes I have made. It isn't until we make a consistent effort to control our flesh and allow our spirit (led by the Holy One) to make the decisions, that we will not truly understand what it means to be holy. When we choose to follow Christ, we must die to our flesh and become a new creation. We must cancel the membership of this world and apply for the new one of His domain.
I have decided to start writing again.
Many of you know that I am working on a book. But I believe I must start writing my thoughts down again to keep myself focused. I used to write to get attention. This time I want to write to keep myself accountable. I want to write to allow God's voice to be heard. Not only to challenge others but myself. There are so many things I feel the Spirit telling me to share it's often bursting so much out of me and I want to post post post! I have a deep desire to share my passion for wisdom and counseling for others. I want people to think for themselves and make the right choices. I also want people to keep me accountable on those things as well.
God has been speaking to me about the subjects of being a bond servent, His Kingdom, his followers being not only a family but a nation, and learning how to fight the darkness we face everyday. These, along with other subjects, will be central themes in my book and writings on here. We often miss the mark when we think we should only focus on just our own spiritual progress and not others. We are supposed to be united! A limb like an arm or leg is not supposed to survive on it's own, we must all work together in order to survive and function.
We must all treat this world like we don't belong here but in the world that God has planned for us. But even though we don't belong and shouldn't get attached to it, we must not forget our responsibilities to be a blessing to this world. We are meant to be there to help others become citizens of God's Kingdom and let the old citizenship expire.
So what is my place in this world? A temporary one. One that will hopefully and God willing help others see that there is a better place and learn how to combat the one we live in now. What is my place in the next? Only God knows. All I know is I won't be complaining. Only looking forward to what He wants me to do.
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